Keeping house There are times when you will feel overwhelmed by the tasks of everyday life. The good news is that friends and family usually appreciate the chance to support you in a practical way, so don’t be afraid to ask. Community and volunteer services can also lend a hand.
Looking after your kids Don’t be shy about asking family and friends to help by getting kids to and from childcare and school, looking after them when you’re at appointments or feeling unwell, and keeping them distracted with outings when your energy is low. Organised childcare, including before and after school care, can be a help at this time. If your condition makes it hard for you to care for your child, you may be eligible for priority access. If you’re worried about how older children are coping, think about speaking to the counsellor at your kids’ school or ask your care team to put you in touch with a social worker.
Looking after your pets If you live on your own with an animal companion and you need to spend some time in hospital, you may be worried about finding someone to look after your pet. Sometimes a friend can lend a hand, otherwise you can try to get in contact with a volunteer animal carer to give your pet a foster home for a while. Ask your vet, call the local pet rescue organisation, or call the RSPCA (www.rspca.org.au).
Looking after your home If you’re having real trouble keeping up with domestic chores like washing and cleaning, ask for help. Friends and relatives are often happy to lend a hand. Also see if you’re eligible for a government-run Home and Community Care program (HACC). Assistance can include personal care (like showering and dressing), basic domestic maintenance, meals, nursing care and even help with transport. Services and eligibility requirements vary from place to place. Go to www.health.gov.au and follow the links to For consumers > Ageing > Help to stay at home – community care > Home-based care.
Shopping and cooking If you can manage cooking for yourself but getting out to the shops is a problem, think about switching to online shopping or using a community- or volunteer-run shopping service. These shopping services are usually organised at local council level and involve transport from your door to the nearest big shopping centre, as well as help getting shopping bags inside. To find out what’s in your area, call your local council or the Cancer Council Helpline on 13 11 20. If you’re eligible for a HACC program, you could also be eligible for Meals on Wheels (www.mealsonwheels.org.au). For just a few dollars, the organisation delivers nutritious meals right to your door.
Getting around Driving to and from appointments is a challenge when you’re feeling stressed or unwell, especially when you’re in unfamiliar territory. Paying for petrol and parking fees can also be expensive. To reduce your stress levels, ask someone to be your driver, or see if your friends and family can set up a roster. You might also be able to access community- or volunteer-run transport services. Call the Cancer Council Helpline on 13 11 20 to see if there is a service in your area.
Questions to ask
Can I get help managing my treatment at home? A community nurse can make regular visits to your home to check you’re managing your medications and give you advice on handling the side effects of some cancer treatments, such as mouth ulcers or skin rashes. Some services are free, others involve a small charge. Community nurses are usually coordinated by local Community Health Centres. Call the Cancer Council Helpline on 13 11 20 to find out where to access help. In country New South Wales, Can Assist (canassist.com.au) offers a VIVA Community Care package of services to people with cancer and their families. The package can include specialised nursing care as well as help with practical things like school drop-offs and grocery shopping. People using the service are asked to make a small financial contribution.
Are there any gadgets to help me? You can buy or hire all sorts of tools and devices to help maintain your independence and make life more comfortable at home. These include things like bed sticks to help you pull yourself in and out of bed when you’re feeling weak, shower chairs so that you can rest while washing, and electric recliner chairs. To find out where you can hire or buy these, call the Cancer Council Helpline on 13 11 20. Specially designed ergonomic devices that make everyday tasks a little easier can be a big help when you’re suffering from fatigue. Go to the Independent Living Centres Australia website at www.ilcaustralia.org to find out more about clever devices for everything from computers to gardening to craft activities.
CanTeen 1800 CAN TEEN (1800 226 833) www.canteen.org.au or support@canteen.org.au CanTeen also runs a counselling service for young people. Call the general number and ask to be put through.
JO-ANNE JORGENSEN Back in May 2009, Jo-anne Jorgensen felt a stabbing pain in the side of her breast. Scans found cancer. Facing the disease was daunting, but the single mum was most worried about looking after her son.
Jo-anne had two lumpectomies, then a mastectomy and a reconstruction. She is now on a low-fat oncology diet, which can reduce recurrence of her triple-negative* breast cancer by 42 per cent.
“When I was diagnosed, I got organised, arranging for my mum to stay and making a will. I have a son who’s eight, and it’s just us, so I wanted to put everything in order.
“Fear of not being able to look after my son influenced my decision not to have chemo. I was told it would only increase my survival rate by 3 per cent and I spoke to people about its impact and decided against it.
“The time I really needed help was when I was in hospital. Mum came down from Townsville for all the operations. When I was in hospital for 12 days for the mastectomy, Dad stayed two weeks and she stayed four.
“Mum had suggested I go to Townsville for the mastectomy so they could look after me at home. But it was hard enough trying to keep things normal for my son, who was already anxious about my illness, so I decided to stay in Sydney. Then I felt guilty that, after all her help, I was putting my mother out.
“The support from my social network was overwhelming. People dropped off meals and my friend Fiona took my son to school, picked him up, fed him and brought him home – along with soup for my dinner. After the mastectomy, friends took me grocery shopping for a month as I couldn’t lift things.
“Overall my journey was less traumatic than I’d imagined – and I’ve even got used to low-alcohol wine and low-fat cheese.”
* Triple-negative breast cancer has no receptors for oestrogen, progesterone or Her2.
